The main part of my story starts about May 2018. We had just bought a new house and we were excited about the future and what possibilities lay ahead. We were preparing for moving day and my sister in law told me that they couldn’t help us because they were “busy.” This triggered a HUGE panic attack in me.
Over the next 7 months my depression got more deep and more extreme. I had several panic attacks, I couldn’t get enough sleep but it was fitful and I was always tired. I had ruminating thoughts and I couldn’t catch a break.
Then finally in November 2018 I had one panic attack and I couldn’t break free from it. It was so awful when I called my friend she said I was completely incoherent. I refused to go to the hospital that day. I waited until the next day when I realized that I had lost control of myself and my life. I needed help. And that’s where it starts.

So I figure I better give some more background then what I said in my last post. Like I had written I have had some form of mental illness since I was 17. Back then it was just depression. Its much more now, but I will get into that later.

I was just 17 when I first heard the words CLINICAL DEPRESSION. To a teenager that can be and was life altering. I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it at the time. I just took the medication my doctor gave me, did some therapy (pretty much useless at that time) and went on with my life. Six months later I was “okay” and didn’t have to take anything else, or see the therapist.

Fast forward to about 31 years old and I had my second child. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. And this would send me into a tail spin. My baby is now almost 7 and I am almost 38. I have been unable to self regulate and control myself.

I have to find the strength to write the next post. I will be back soon.

Hello to the internet world. I am a 37 year old female. And I have several mental health issues. I will get into them each a little bit at a time going forward on this blog. But I just wanted to give some background on myself.

Like I said I am a 37 year old female, married for almost 11 years. 2 boys. Part time employee.

I have suffered from mental illness in one way or another since I was 17 years old. But this past November it broke me. I had to be hospitalized for 6 weeks. I am starting this blog to help me get out my thought and feelings.

I hope that you will stay with me as I begin this journey.

Much love, M xoxo